Sitting down on a 6inch mattress that slowly sank in the middle, my thoughts began to go entirely out of control. Then this question hit me.... why is it that only when shit happens to me I get introspective?
I realized when I am all happy I don't feel the urge to write, to think, to ponder, but instead the innate want, to just enjoy the moment comes to play and I never recap the events to remember these fine times and recall when I get myself into shitty situations....
But, unfortunately when shit happens, thats when your entire world opens up and you start thinking, "what the hell?"
I sat on the cold tiles on the ground while I read this email, bitter-sweet in every sense of the word. I found out new insides to an individual yet pushed my progress of creating my emotional walls a month back. (Bescrete your work is questionable....)
I started thinking again. (allyuh know when this shit happening is to go for the beers in the fridge or some space cake *much thanks going out to my peeps who have the wickedest oven*)
Was I Hitler? Did I start a genocide that I knew nothing of and God is punishing me in this life? (what de ass dred?)
I tend to focus on all the bad that is happening and not the good. Although not much good have been happening but I should start seeing the cup as half full than half empty. (start being a little more grateful)
Look at the trees when I am running.
Smell the lady of the night going around the Savannah.
Try to learn one new word everyday.
Send flowers to the people that gets me back on my feet every time I hit the ground.
Bruise my knees more often.
If I continue to look at things that way, then hopefully, my future soul searching moments will be more on the positive side and I will start experiencing and appreciating the happy times more than just going with the flow during.
Strangely, I thought what I read would have hit me a sucker punch to the head like the ones before.
But it did not.
Thank you sender for enlightening me yet again.
You are in my prayers as well.. and I wish you genuinely the best.
Kudos on the new weight loss program, we should implement and start charging money... :) (marketing strategizing initiated)
( as you all can tell, this is one of my more seriously inclined blog entries )
MS....BOOM??? (the Boom don't feel as Boomish tonight)
4 comments:
Introspection can be bittersweet because sometimes we just want to avoid what is the real root of much of our problems in life. However, after doing so we find that we turn out better because we end up learning so much and in turn grow as a person.
I'm sure if you had a choice you would choose only good things/situations but really and truly, there is value in the "bad" that occurs in life. Look at it this way: From manure flowers grows.
It is only for a time. Continue to consider all the good changes that are happening as a result.
Love & rockets *wink*
I usually do that when those dam happy/sad/angry hormones act up but I always tell you...remember to Somalians!!! I have no doubt that you'll be fine! Hugz
Anonymous, I hear you... What can I say, cup half full hence forth...
My friend....I have realized that without the bad and depression, there will be nothing to ground the good times and moments and feelings upon. Because we live in a polarized world.....there can't be day without night, dawn's beauty will have no meaning. You are being thrown in the deep so that u may learn how to swim hon.....take it for what it is....a learning moment.....just a moment in your life....u will be gud ok. Hugs.
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