I sat on my bed, staring at the screen of my laptop, empty note pad at my side, my pen full of thoughts but unable to paint the landscapes running through my mind. This year taught how to be a little more tough than I was before. Not just say what I am going to, not just strategize, but place action to every word that escapes my lips and stand behind my thoughts.
My life, my ideals, my thoughts... took a turn this year, regarding family, my cancer, my job, my friends. Amidst the darkness, fear and loneliness, it was the brightest moment of my life. I saw people that I held near, their true colours, their true beliefs of me and it was a bitter pill to swallow, yet, I managed.
Facing death straight in the face, my cancer taking a turn for the worse, I managed to find some reason to live when everyone left and walked out. The angels appeared out of the dark and pulled me through, my sister, Doll, who never gave up on me and showed up every morning to bathe me and protect me when I was most vulnerable. My friends from far away, rekindled my hope in people and life. Found themselves next to my bed.
The ones I held near, I loved and lived with, Kevon from my business, Fabian who always showed up and professed his love and marriage, I lived with for 3 months, I knew for 3 years, Hayden my friend and ex from years ago never showed. These people I built my world around and yet they never bothered nor came to make amends since I was on death bed. This left the remaining pieces of my heart broken, my spirit of the family I once thought I built in shambles.
Now looking back a month later, I am happy I had that brush with death, I am happy that I now know the people who genuinely loved me no matter what and the ones that just came along because of my successes.
The stresses that once broke me, now seem to be minor hurdles that I cannot fix with the snap of a finger.
The new people that wants to come into my circle, my analysis is on point and sharpened.
The angels that breathed life into me, I will cherish forever.
The blood family and friends that has forsaken me, I will still be civil and smile with you, God knows you need it.
I am going to make next year mine. 2018 Singh is coming.... Bigger, better... large and in charge...
Can't wait. Let's do this shit!!!
Singh forever.
xoxxooxoxoo
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