I usually have to be in a mood to write blogs. Of late,
sometimes, I am just way too busy being annoyed, inundated with stupid people,
having to fight down my superiors on some questionable decisions that in turn makes me wonder, "how the fuck did they get this far?" and "why am I even here?", trying to
figure our Analysis of Business and what is the purpose of the module and
exactly how am I going to apply this in my day to day life… and why for God
sake is it a mandatory module. Can someone please explain this to me?
Majority of my lack of interaction or posting was based on
numerous introspection that took days, maybe weeks that always ended in me nearly drowning myself in my own drool.Yes, introspection of one’s life can be utterly boring,
again, this depends on who you are. For me... hmmm... work, pills, gym, home... (x expiration date).... From my numerous efforts to gather
information on the direction I want my life to go and what I genuinely want out
of this thing called life!! Up to date, I do not know, and I have gotten too
tired of it all, that personally I just really don’t give a shit.
But, my innate animalistic character will not allow
my mind to stay at ease and allow me the luxury of just not giving a shit. I
always tend to pull myself back and strategize exactly where I want to be and
what are the trajections in which I should angle myself to thrust forward to
success....... It all ends up with me, picking up the pieces of landing in
unfortunate and very unhappy surroundings. Probably drunk or high or both..... Judgement (technical difficulties)
With that being the unfortunate trend of events, I tend to
navigate successfully away from situations that will push me towards
surroundings that will cause me days of heartache, regret, cancer cell spiking
and placing majority of my waking hours into formulating a plan to avoid being
charged with manslaughter. All in all, matters of the heart, I have basically
threw in the air, shot, and in its way back to earth, have ousted with unleaded gas (yes I paid for the more expensive gas, since they claim it has less earth damaging properties) and caught it in flames AS SOON AS it touched Gods green earth. In a nut
shell men and women keep an arm’s length before shit gets real. (It's about to go down - Kevin Hart)
I have aligned happiness to goals, personal goals, goals
that can be attained within my timing and my schedule and has no interference
with the outside world. Every living moment, when I am not high nor Port
saturated, I peruse to see what is the next “to do” factor in my bucket list.
What are the items, when my cancer kicks in and I am lying on a stretcher with
a thousand needles in my arm and hip bone, I can reflect on and get an anesthetic
induced chuckle that will be my vehicle into sleep world, (where Pierce Brosnan and Angelina Jolie is waiting on my arrival.....) until Susan my dreadfully
old, but, such a sweetheart nurse wakes me up back to my questionable life. Where
the cycle begins all over again…… find personal goals...fulfill personal goal... and we go back to finding personal goal....
Although the success rate of this effort is 100% in full
effect, the celebrations are very mundane, its just really you celebrating and
when you try to relay your successes it really doesn’t translate well, nor, has
the impact of celebratory cheer since its just YOUR goal.That your close friends may not quite get, but, to not make you think you are going to the rockers will definitely act like its totally awesome.
Friends will part take but its like…. “Ahhh ok… yeah lets go
drink over you not cursing your co-workers for three days…successfully… wooo
hooo!”…….
At the end of it, personal goals and personal victories are
yours and yours alone. Sitting watching the sunset on an evening is a victory.
Because you got through the day without dying nor doing something you will
regret in the morning, if you wake up.
As very lonely it may be.
As very isolated your bubble
may be drifting from others.
One thing I remind myself everyday…. My happiness
is what I create. No one can do this for me.
Cheers.
Singh
Not giving a shit.
2 comments:
"My happiness is what I create. No one can do this for me."
Most important!
Time is a luxury we all, at one point or another, seem to take for granted. The best guift we can give ourself is time, time to just collect your thoughts, sit back, relax, and take it all in, or take in nothing at all..I cannot overstate the importance of blocking out therest of the world's bullshit every once in a while, n just doing whatever it is you want to do, at whatever pace u see fit..
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