What is your Happiness?

Happiness, what is happiness? 

I asked my mother this question while lounging with my parents on their exceptionally comfortable porch with a panoramic view of the low lands…peeping trees and birds flying so low, you have to bob and weave to avoid getting feather in your teeth..(always strengthen your core muscles with those kawasaki birds)…..  “Mom, what is happiness?”

Her response, “I don’t even know what it is, I think someone has to show me.”

No disrespect to my father, I mean he just sat there and peeped at her from the top of his glasses rim, nonchalantly looking away like if he just did not hear that.

But then again does he know what it is?

I grew up in a very logical house. Everything had to make sense before it was done. Marriage made sense, cause times were hard back then, they relied heavily on each other, men knew their role and so did women. Money was an issue but never a stake that was forced in between a young couple with numerous kids. My parents grew up as a unit. And as they got older, they are a force to be reckoned with. They have this very “I don’t give a shit” attitude, because they are very comfortable in their lifestyle and worked damned hard to maintain it.

Very humble beginnings to having the option of being exceptionally lavish, yet, it is not necessary. It’s not logical. They have each other and that is all that matters now in their books.

I look at them and long to find that compatibility with some individual. But then again, it was not love at first sight in the beginning, it was logical.

What I have to remember, is that they initially did not favor one another, but, they grew to do so, I am unsure of, if it was love or just logic and the building of comfort being with someone for decades. Through thick and thin, through heaven and hell. My father moved mountains for my mother and my mother sacrificed her life for the sake of her family and still does.  

I know that sometimes, they may not mention that it was this thing we call 

“love” that bound our family as close as we are today, they more say they were victims of their environment. They had to make it, no excuses, as a unit. Pride kept them moving forward. Every move was determined by logic and survival, NOT emotion. 

Hmmmmmm…..drifting off thinking….. No emotion…soldier mode...brings back so much memories.....

Yes, I completely strayed there, but, in all and all, with the straying, back to the happiness question. 

Does “love” and emotions bring happiness, or is it a logical move that will bring comfort in then will bring happiness.

Then we are back to the start….. what is happiness?

Whilst I know happiness will vary from person to person, due to its purpose is customized to each.

It begs the question, from what I grew up in, be it my family, will my happiness be a logical move, again this is what I have always been accustom to, or, will it be what I see on a daily basis, with folks, holding hands …You know where I am going and vice versa, let’s move…sweaty palms… ewww…. Feeding each other….you have your own hands…use it….  

From my experience when it comes to happiness or what I believe is happiness, I would usually take the emotional route. 

The butterflies in your tummy (Baygon / Sheltox take your pick)

On seeing the individual your heart starts pounding (similar to getting robbed with a nine glaring in your face, no different, trust me)

Sweating your life away (Much similarities to running in your local gyms treadmill)

You can’t wait for that call (same feeling can be met, right after an interview, sitting and waiting for your mobile to "blow up" as a friend of mine says)

The good bye hug after a fun date injected with so many laughs (no different from watching Kevin Hart or Kat Williams then walking to your bedroom and hugging the shit out of your pillow....no different, the smile instantly flickers on)

That message, “jus wanna say hi, I’m missin you by the way” (You can pay your nieces and nephews to throw you a line now and then)

All of this…….. which I have had firsthand experience, from my history was God awful,  my judgment is detrimentally off.

Probably, if I take a shot at logic, instead of emotions, probably, just maybe, it 

has a tiny percentage of working out. Ending up in comfort, then comfort will turn to happiness. In this equation I don’t see “love” just yet.

It’s just another job, do what you must, understand your role, and your partner ensure they do also, and both fulfill their JD’s.

In a year time there will be the evaluation on your probation and maybe, you may get the option of signing this contract for the rest of your life….. (Jail term – life time…signed and sealed…)

The question, as I began, is still left unanswered.

What is happiness?….. What makes you happy? Not short term giggles. But, genuinely makes you happy, long term. Fuh life!

I have not the foggiest.

Neither did my parents. To date.

The amazing yet confused Singh……