Basis of Comparison....

It all started as any other day, the urge to NOT come out of my jersey sheets (Audrey Cooper), and NOT go to my shark tank which is sometimes known as work. I am sitting in a meeting waiting on the lates to waltz in with their watches obviously strewn to the corner of the compound giving it no regard. 

My tummy out of the blue made this growl that reminded me of when I was a wee little, curly haired, bunny underwear toddler. Seconds after that growl, my mom will ensure something was stuffed down my throat. The good days I reminisced.... But, now that it growls, I have to wait it out with sporadic coughing to cover the noises. My timing sucks ballz...Everyone heard and gave me the look.... I swear every nose in the air professional, thought I ripped one, with the type of noise, that echoed through the halls. 

I then realized that I would have had to wait it out, wait until the meeting was finished after the unnecessary babbling about their happy go lucky kids and adoring husbands and just highlighting how much fun you are NOT having because you are you and not them....*initiate rolling of eyes* 

Up to date, not one word was heard, throughout the meeting, the face was on default "talk to me and bitch I will rip you a new asshole" so, I was not expecting any kind of disturbances whilst I day dreamed. 

I pondered at that point, my life now, to my life back then in my parents home. 
In actuality I am much unhappier, unhealthy, cranky than I was back then.... so odd. 
The stresses that I have now, are ones that I inflict on my own being. 

The only difference is "freedom" usually back then, as soon as you are back from school you can't leave. Not, like CAN'T leave, well..... yeah ok, can't leave cause you are just so edgy about getting the hard stare from mom and dad... there was no going out with friends. Phhsssttt ... friends? what an odd word? what does that mean... 

Now, personally, I live the same life, I come home and when that vehicle is parked and my shoes are off, hellz to the no, am I leaving again. So basically, my freedom restrictions are enforced by myself, and not my parents.  Oh ... Big difference...

Bills are never ending compared to my life back by my mom and dad, where there was no care in the world. 
Food was healthy other than the shit I consume now, due to time constraints, ulcers are numerous, sleep deprivation is constant, bad habits set in......all this tends to add up to death being closer than where it is supposed to catch you on that bus going to hell... 

Heaven, hardly unlikely with the life I have lived. Sorry mom. 

But, yes, at my age, I am very certain, that the life I have now, compared to the life I had with my parents back home is totally downhill. 

Back home, mangoes were abundant, mom cooked healthy vegetables, and seasoned meats.... there was never hunger, there was always something or she would make something out of nothing.. Blessed hands...

Dad made sure that there was never a care in the world to worry about. Car payements were made on time, schooling was always first to be paid in full, clothes were always new anything ripped was garbage, gas money always available, with a cut eye somewhere in between. 

The only thing that I thought was an issue was not being able to have friends, and my freedom. Friends would lead you astray and just coming home before dark was for your own safety, because they knew what the real world was like... not a nice place, as I have grown to realize.

Now,  it hits me like the train that ran off the tracks in Spain, friends are not really friends.... to be frankly honest....
And freedom is all mental, not physical.... 

I miss the comfort of hearing my fathers snoring down the hall and my mom screaming your name, to wake you up to eat. 
I would have been a chubby tubby, but, i would have been a happy as shit, chubby tubby.... 

I do believe, I had to experience the dark side *darth vaders voice* to recognize that those days were awesome..... 

Love you mom and dad, I am one grateful kid... 

Ms. Singh...