2013!!! It was a good run! But.......

9am, on Old Years Day, my boss calls me and reminds me that it is the last day of 2013, and we need to take time to reflect in how we can improve in the coming year. 

I totally agree….. I am not sure if he was throwing that for me personally or just sharing the wisdom he has gathered through barriers that made him into the person he is today. 

Whilst, reflecting is a common thing for me, not every turn of the year, but every month, this year was very different. I did no reflection. None at all. I did not want to look back at this year, as I mentioned in an earlier entry, this year started off by kicking me in the teeth.

I cannot differentiate the months of this year, time seemed to ball itself up into one and roll slowly to December 2013. There was no joy, no celebrations, we were respecting the dead and allowing mourning to take its course. 

What I realized and learned the hard way, there is no forgetting, nor do I want to forget my brother. We never had the best relationship as siblings, there were the unnecessary fights and unwarranted kicks in the groin comments that left your jaw on the floor. But, oddly enough, even though the fighting outweighed the good times… all I could recall was his laughs, his recall of Sesame Street and Daffy Duck, his very romantic ways, his stupid grin when he is up to no good and how he cried at every birthday and family get together, because he never knew just how much we loved him despite all his wicked doings. 

I have learned a lot and I have changed drastically just within 12 months. A very small window of time to change how you see the world. 

I have learned to let go and allow everyone to be happy in their own right. My happiness may not be theirs but it deserves every right to be respected and acknowledged. 

I have learned that, really and genuinely don’t judge, for you really have no idea what someone else is going through. 

I have learned to just live, for life can be taken from you in a matter of seconds, with you not even see it coming.

I have learned to laugh more, even though being grumpy runs in my veins, all I can do is laugh. 

I have learned to not sweat the small stuff, cest la vie. 

I have learned, not to take my time for granted nor others.

More than all, I have learned that I truly love my very crazy, loud, angry, obnoxious, unforgiving, piss me off any chance they get family…. For I don’t know how long I may be with them nor them with me… 

Dave Singh, you have gotten your year. I will never forget you and I will always love you with every single drop of blood in me. Everything I undertake this year, you will always be in my thoughts, and I pray one day we will meet again soon… and you will come with me across the water instead of staying back and smoking in your red shorts on the bank of a very turbulent river…..

2013, you were a tough year…But onto a brighter 2014… 

Whatever will be, will be... No plans ... No resolution... Just living!!! 

Ms. Singh.